What’s Under That Kilt? by Dawn Ireland

dawn ireland

SMP:  Dawn Ireland participated in our Spring Blog-a-Thon, and stepped up to bat with a fabulous guest blog when we asked her to return for the Fall BOT! And she brought along photos! Take it away, Dawn!

What’s under that kilt?

You’ve wanted to peek. Come on. Admit it.

Gerard Butler in a kilt2[1]

            A “True Scotsman” wears nothing under his kilt. It does get the imagination racing when confronted with this early picture of Gerard Butler. I wish I had been there the day this was taken. (Of course, I’d also want a strong breeze.)

            The kilt is a rather modern invention – if you can call 16th century modern.  Initially, it was a great kilt (or belted plaid) that had material coming up over the shoulder to be used for protection in bad weather. It wasn’t until the 1720’s that the “walking kilt” that we think of came into being. 

Liam[1]

            My husband purchased a walking kilt last summer. I was surprised to find a flap of additional soft material on the inside. The back pleats were covered, but nothing for the straight panel. I imagine wool could be quite uncomfortable to sit on, but what about the potential for chaffing in the front? Of course, all this would only be an issue if you were following the “True Scotsman” tradition. And how can you tell?

            Well, I go to “Pennsic War” every year. (A SCA event.) One of the encampments holds a “Men Without Pants” party, and at the gate women are encouraged with these words “Please feel free to check.”

            Now, in the everyday world you might be arrested for such behavior, so what’s a girl to do? Well, here are some tips on catching that tantalizing glimpse:

  • That beautiful flower on the top of your shoes has a mirror center. You just need to get very close…
  • Position your favorite Highlander over a sewer grate and pray that the air gust is enough.
  • Ask your kilted friend to retrieve your lap top from the floor. (You’ll have to hope he doesn’t bend his knees and squat to pick up the equipment.)
  • Have your “Highlander” get a picture and if you’re lucky, he doesn’t know how to sit.

Queen and Highlander

Remember, curiosity can get you into trouble, or it can be greatly appreciated. As evidenced by this song/story, often used around a fire or at Ren. Faires:

Well a Scotsman tried and true left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share
He stumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside a stream

Ring ding diddle diddle aye de oh
Ring di diddly aye oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside a stream

About that time two young and lovely ladies happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt

Ring ding diddle diddle aye de oh
Ring di diddly aye oh
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt

They snuck up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt a little bit so they could see
And there for them to behold, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle aye de oh
Ring di diddly aye oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie sword, the Scotsman’s kilt beneath did show

Ring ding diddle diddle aye de oh
Ring di diddly aye oh
Around the bonnie sword, the Scotsman’s kilt beneath did show

Now the Scotsman a little later, he awoke to nature’s call
And as he lifted up his kilt he gawked at what he saw
And in a strangled voice he says I can’t believe me eyes.
I don’t know where you been, me lad, but I see you won first prize

Ring ding diddle diddle aye de oh
Ring di diddly aye oh
I don’t know where you been, me lad, but I see you won first prize

Do you have other creative thoughts on the best way to discover if your kilt wearer is a “True Scotsman?” I’d love to hear your ideas!

Dawn Ireland is the author of LOVE’S GUARDIAN and co-author of HIGHLAND SONS: THE MACKAY SAGA, with Meggan Connors. Both are available at Soul Mate Publishing, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

 

           

           

About charchaffin2011

Writer and Senior Acquiring Editor
This entry was posted in Dawn's Offering, Fall 2012 Blog-A-Thon!, Historical Romance and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to What’s Under That Kilt? by Dawn Ireland

  1. You could ask, but what fun is that and how would you know if the answer was true?

  2. Dawn, you crack me up! I’m loving these delicious images (well, not so much the Queen Mum and her peekaboo fella!), and that song is a hoot. Thanks for joining us at the Blog-a-Thon!

  3. I won’t believe it until I see it!

    Great seeing you, Dawn. I wish you wonderful sales with your new title. 🙂

  4. Dawn, I’m grinning! Last summer, at the SCA Medieval Meetup on my uncle’s ranch, I highlander volunteered to show me what was under his kilt. I pulled it up just high enough to show me a tattoo of a rooster. Naughty man!

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