It’s been almost a year since I’ve been published, and as I draw closer to that special day, August 26, I can’t believe how quickly time has flown. How much I’ve learned, and grown as a writer, not only in the writing itself, but also in my social media platform, and things I didn’t even know about until I became published.
In one year I went from being so terrified of social media, that my stomach would churn just thinking of putting myself “out there.” So I started small, took a deep breath, and have since flourished. Not to say I’m an expert, but I’ve grown more comfortable in the social media realm. Although I’ll admit, if I ever have to speak in front of crowd on writing, or *gasp* read my work out-loud, I’m not sure how far that would get me. But I’ll let you know when I’ve crossed that bridge.
I would think by this point, having one book out there already, that submitting the second would be a breeze. Boy, was I wrong. I’m just as scared, if not more so this second time around. I’m working on a final round of personal edits, and, as I’m sure you can relate, I’m going through a multitude of emotions. Even at this late stage of the game. One minute thinking this is the greatest thing *throws confetti in the air,* and the next minute thinking why did I even bother *slumps down in chair.* I know I need to let go, and trust the process. To trust my writing abilities, but I have writer’s stage fright, if there is such a thing. It’s like I’m up on that stage for the first time again, peering out at the audience from behind a curtain, and praying they’ll like me. Because let’s face it, you feel exposed when you’re writing. You’re putting a piece of your heart and soul out there, and it’s a nerve-wracking, scary as hell concept. Sometimes I question my own sanity, wondering why I would put myself through this multitude of mixed, crazy, pull-your-hair-out, what-are-you-thinking emotions.
In a few words, because writing is like air, I need it. And I’ve noticed this in action very recently. While we were in the process of moving, I wasn’t able to focus on my manuscript, and I think this went on for two weeks, maybe longer. I didn’t notice it so much in the first few days, but as the days turned into weeks, and then another week…I was antsy, anxious, and very crabby. It was as though somebody took my candy away and I really needed it! Even through the mental roadblocks, and the writer blocks, and the varied stages I go through, I still love what I do. Writing feeds my soul, my spirit, and I can’t imagine being without it.