Most people figure romance writers have got the love thing down pat. Wrong. We stumble as much in the dark as everyone else, maybe more sometimes. I wish I could say we get wiser about love the older we get. But it might not be true. Yet at least in romance novels, people make huge mistakes, commit betrayals, leave and give up and still there’s always a happy ending. Thank God for that. In real life, however . . .
In that vein, here are ten things I’d tell my younger self about love and relationships
- Time changes everything. And everyone.
2. Treat your romantic partners and the men who would like to be your romantic partners the same: kindly.
3. If he’s interested in you, he’ll call. If he doesn’t, it’s not because he’s saving the orphans in Africa or lost in Sudoku.
4. The right guy won’t make you feel dumb and won’t let his friends do it, either.
5. You can’t trade sex for love.
6. NEVER settle for a guy. NEVER.
7. Do your best to communicate. If he can’t, leave. It’ll never work.
8. Every guy who hurts you leads you to the one who won’t.
9. Practice saying, “No.” Then say it.
10. Don’t date a married man. If you do, remember the words of the late Sir James Goldsmith: “When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.”