“We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.”
My romance writing journey has been twenty years in the making, as I began when I was fourteen. And holy cow, as I write that sentence I cannot believe that much time has already passed! I tell you what though, as crazy, stressful, and tough as its been, I would not trade it for the world. I still have those two first attempts from high school, tucked away. As crummy as they were it was a start, and a blessing. I had a great support system behind me, my parents and my English teacher, and so I kept going. Then graduation hit in June of 2001. I met my would be husband that summer on a blind date, started college, moved into the dorms, and forgot all about my writing. Before our son was born, I hardly wrote a thing. College papers, poetry, newspaper articles, and things along that line, were the only things I wrote.
Writing romance always got tossed to the back burner, and in fact, was not even on the burner. It was in the freezer, neglected, and waiting to be taken out and thawed. Then, between getting married, taking a semester off, graduating college, and having a baby, writing for the pure of joy of it, had been absent, and seemed unimportant. Something I told myself I would do again “someday.” Before I knew it, someday passed from days, to weeks to months, and into eight years. That time passed, but not without thinking about writing, without that little voice in my head nagging me to write, begging me, because that’s what I was meant to do. But, I ignored that voice, flicking it aside like some pesky bug, because I told myself I had no time.
Eight years of nothing, and for a long time, I felt guilty, as though it was wasted time. I don’t remember at point it was, but I eventually shook that guilt free. I now realize, not one moment was a waste of time. Because during that time, I grew, and matured, having experiences that shaped me into the person I am today. Into the woman I am today. I also realize, I was not ready at the point in my life, not willing to take the time, effort, and energy it would take to hone my craft. I was not ready to stick my butt to the chair, fingers to the keyboard, and get down to brass tacks. I was not yet ready to take that plunge. I was not ready to commit, and understand that first drafts are shit, revisions are necessary, and that you’ll need a beta reader, or several, to look over your work. That I would feel like giving up at some point, because writing was more difficult than I could ever imagine, and would test my patience, resilience, and strength.
I’ll admit, even with two published works under my belt, and another in the revision stage, I still have doubts, and feel like tossing my hands in the air. At times I feel like giving up because my story is not cooperating, or I think what I’ve written is total crap, or that nobody will care, and that I’ve just wasted two months of my life. I’ve experienced this several times during my third work in progress, but I continued despite my doubts. Just what made me continue, I don’t know. Because honestly, the doubts came in, sat down and were not leaving. Despite the hurdles, along the way, I stuck with it and I’m glad I did. The story has come to life, and my characters are telling me there is so much more to say than what’s written on the page. And just when I think I’m done…bam! Another surprise, more magic, more layers, and just more. 🙂
Eventually, slowly, me and my writing, met in the middle and came full circle.
Facebook: Rose Lange, Author