Good morning everyone. I’m so glad you stopped by.
This week I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to write for my turn on the blog. And to tell the truth, I had absolutely no idea.
And until just now, I still didn’t know. But then as I tried to start my newest book over (I had lost all of my chapters due to a technical/equipment issue), I suddenly knew what I was going to write about.
No, not about lost work although it’s terrible and unfortunate thing. Anyone that has had this happen to them knows the pain and frustration this can bring. And for anyone that hasn’t experienced it, count yourself lucky because it is a horrible thing to endure as an author.
This time, as the above title suggests, is about self doubt. You know what I’m talking about right?
The feeling that you are not as good others. The feeling that nothing you do is comparable to others work.
It’s especially difficult if the subject of self doubt is something you love and are extremely passionate about. Like writing.
Welcome to my world.
You see, I am dealing with doubt and a lot of it.
Why you might ask.
Well, I keep getting stuck while writing my new book. And that is a cause of frustration. Because deep down I believe it’s a good story and I desperately want it to become published and join my other works that are out there.
And in that frustration, I take breaks, look for inspiration, and try to work my story problems out in my head. In this writing downtime (too much of it seems), I can’t help but notice other authors’ progress, reviews, etcetera. And often, mine pales in comparison.
Now I know. I know…
- Don’t compare yourselves to other writers
- Your writing and your style is your own
- No one writes the same
But I can’t help it. I see that some authors have 20 or 30 books out.
I see that some books which came out around the same time mine did have gotten hundreds of reviews while mine only have 35 or so.
And that sort of gets to me.
This can be helpful or destructive. It’s all in how one deals with it.
On one hand, I could allow myself to feel down and upset, leading me to think I am not a good author, never will be, and that I should give up now.
I can try and see the silver lining and use my downtime as a learning opportunity.
For example, look at what I HAVE accomplished, NOT what I haven’t.
- I have 2 full length books published.
- I have a short story published in part with other amazing authors.
And then I consider other factors.
Sure those other authors might write better than me (there’s always someone that writes better than someone else) but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a good author as well.
- Maybe they might have more time to write and then re-write than me.
- Maybe they are able to work from home or they are retired.
- Maybe they don’t have children at home or they don’t have children.
- Maybe the genre they write in is super hot and very trendy at the moment.
- Maybe they have writing and critique partners to help them.
- Maybe they have a muse that inspires them daily.
- Maybe they have a large group of friends or know people that help them promote their work.
My point is there are lots of things that come into play when a person compares themselves and their achievements to some else.
So which option do I choose?
I’ve really considered option #1. Just give it up.
But I can’t. I just can’t.
I love reading books. I love writing books. I love my characters and the journeys they lead me on. Even when I try to quit (and I have a few times), I find myself writing down notes on scratch paper when an idea comes to me. It could be at work. It could be at a restaurant. It could be as I’m dropping off to sleep.
Writing is in my blood. It’s a part of who I am. And to give that up would be to deny a part of myself.
I choose option #2.
I continue on, writing when I can, drawing inspiration from everything and everyone around me, improving with each word I write.
Sure I might not have as many books published as others. And sure I may not get as many reviews as they do.
But I know I’m a good author. I know my books are and enjoyable read. I know that despite it all, I am fulfilling my dream of being published author. And that feeling is bigger than any self doubt I have.