Me No Words Back Blurb – Elle Hill


Okay, but for reals, I suck at writing back cover blurbs. And titles. And synopses.

How is it I can pen a 75K-word novel no problem, but come time to write the back cover blurb, my verbal capacity transforms into that of a 16-year-old boy faced with his prom date’s glaring father?

You’d think this would all be old hat by now. After finishing each novel, I sit down in front of my laptop, sip some tea, and ask myself what words truly capture the novel I just birthed. No pressure. Just something simple, yet meaningful. Something epic, but funny, and kinda clever, but also super catchy, and make sure the overarching social message gets a nod and a wink, plus don’t forget the hook. And… and… ACK!

It takes me days–days–to pen those back cover blurbs, synopses, and one-sentence hooks. Words, which once streamed directly from brain to fingers, now drip, drip, drip, one…by…one onto the white page behind that winking, slightly judgy cursor.

After all this, I write, read, and revise endless melodramatic, boring, cheesy, and just plain awkward versions before finally admitting defeat and choosing the least offensive ones.

It’s, like, you know, when, uh… 
Okay, imagine mean people with, like, scary yellow eyes!
Romance and funnies and, like, tons of animals!
And, you know, there’s a car. And then the cat pees on someone’s leg!
Cuz, you know, orcas have a sense of humor, too!
I mean, like, okay, I promise it’s funny sometimes, but not too funny, you know?
Me no sex your daughter, sir!
Oh, you only think I’m kidding.

About Elle Hill

I'm a not-so-mild-mannered college instructor by day and writer by night. I'm an ex-animal rescuer and a forever animal lover. Finally, I'm a progressive, portly, political, powerful, pale-faced, passionate purveyor of poetry and prose.
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3 Responses to Me No Words Back Blurb – Elle Hill

  1. Susan James Berger says:

    Funny and I am with you all the way. I dread blurbs and synopses and I have another one coming up.

  2. Beth Carter says:

    I needed to read this RIGHT NOW. I’ve been fiddling with my blurb for weeks. WEEKS. You are so right. I can bang out an 85k-word novel in eight months, but those three or four paragraphs on the back cover?! Forget about it. *beckons cocky Italian voice and runs screaming toward the woods*

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