What matters in life to me are the folks who choose my companionship-not the scenery, or the activity, but the people making the moments special. I avoid people who extrude negativity. Have you dealt with someone who resents the air you breathe for no apparent reason? Sometimes we’re forced into their presence. Throughout the past few years a situation occurred where a group of women dealing with adversity rallied together in support of one another. Thrown together by a common interest, we bonded while surviving verbal negativity by an unhappy, controlling, and (unfortunately) in control person. Our friendship became stronger while we all took action to remove ourselves from the scenario.
I’ve been in the same position once before at a former day job and luckily my supervisor understood and acted. Both times the offender was female. My instincts are that jealousy and insecurity drive women to act against their sisters. What I’ve done to counteract these trollettes is to surround myself with golden girls.
My top 5 list of requirements on what I appreciate in a female friend. Yours?
- Fully present when I need them. Not on the phone texting or trying to covertly get the attention of a nearby guy. I believe women fall into two groups: male centered and female centered. I love my men, but I don’t need their constant attention or validation.
- Doesn’t judge me or share my deepest, darkest, or weirdest thoughts. With anyone. If I can’t confide in my friend and trust that she’s a virtual vault, we’ll never be close.
- Communicates misunderstanding and shares responsibility if appropriate. “Ouch,” makes a great reset when a conversation heads south. I will gladly admit I’m wrong, but I’m a Libra, so I expect my friends to do the same.
- Revels in the ability to laugh until they snort, choke, or produce tears. I need laughter. The world needs laughter. Need I say more?
- Time and distance don’t matter. We can reconvene after years apart, share memories, or begin creating new ones and gleefully step back into #4. Rinse and repeat.
I delight and appreciate the company of women from 15 to 95 years young who are/were corporate supervisors, cabinet makers, writers, engineers, asset protection gurus, foundry managers, cowgirls, editors, divinity scholars, apparel designers, nurses, and graphic artists-to name a few. The common denominator is that they all take pride in their talents and build up other women. For the record, I’m happily married and cohabit with two young adult sons. Harmoniously. Really. Doesn’t make a whiff of difference we easily converse. I need women’s opinions.
Female friendship rates top honors in my personal life. My writing reflects that. Handsome heroes play center stage, but BFF’s are a close second. They rescue, support, and call out bad decisions on each other. The Hitman’s Mistake and Torn by Vengeance tell the stories of two female friends who are polar opposites in personality. What they share are unbreakable bonds of trust and loyalty. Surround yourself with positive women, you’ll feel the power of gold. Happy trails, Sally
The Hitman’s Mistake at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DM795GP
Torn by Vengeance at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07P1D33K1