That discrepancy becomes even more pronounced at this time of the year. With less than three weeks to go before Christmas, many of us are scrambling to buy gifts, finish decorating, plan and prepare that special meal, and a host of other activities on a never-ending To-Do list.
I find small doses of humor effective during these busy times. Here are seven of my favorite jokes. Feel free to share with friends and colleagues.A Scottish mother visits her son in his New York City apartment and asks, “How do you find the Americans, Rodney?”
“Mother,” says Rodney, “they’re such noisy people. One neighbor won’t stop banging against the wall while the other screams all night long.”
“Oh, Rodney! How do you put up with them?”
“What can I do? I just lie in bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.”A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee, and slapped him on the back of his head. “I found a piece of paper in your pant’s pocket with a woman’s name written on it. You better have an explanation.”
“Calm down, honey” said the man. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.”
The next morning, his wife smacked him again.
“What was that for?” asked the angry husband.
He asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”
She replies, “It’s me…talking to the wine.”After correcting a set of class papers, the teacher remarked to a particular student, “I just can’t understand how one person can make so many mistakes on his work.”
The student thought for a bit and then said, “It wasn’t just one person. My dad helped with the assignment.”Two little boys were best friends at church, but they both had a reputation for getting into trouble. One Sunday, one of the boys was sick and stayed home. The other boy went to church and was twice as bad as normal.
After church, the pastor grabbed him and asked in an angry voice, “Where’s God?”
The little boy was frightened and didn’t know what to say.
The pastor continued, “I want you to go home and think about it. I don’t want you to come back until you can tell me where God is.”
The boy went home and called his sick friend on the telephone. “Guess what,” he said. “They’ve lost God, and they’re trying to blame that one on us, too.”A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and asked her to say the blessing.
“I don’t know what to say,” the daughter replied.
“Just say what you hear Mommy say.”
The daughter bowed her head. “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Where to find Joanne Guidoccio…