By Jeanine Englert
Letting go is a strange and unusual concept to many, especially if you’ve held a shame, a guilt, or a disappointment close to you for any length of time. If you’ve carried and clutched it with you for decades, like I and my Lovely Digits characters Lucy and John have, letting it go feels like a loss or a death almost. For what do you fill that blinding empty space with?
The answer: whatever you want.
Perhaps a new joy or hobby. Or maybe a new love, new people, or new experiences. The idea is that when you loosen your grip on whatever it is you’ve been carrying for so long that’s pained you, you realize you have an open, empty palm ready for some new part of yourself to fill or bloom into. It’s as if you are pruning your own life. You’re releasing yourself from the dead weight of the past and allowing some new facet of yourself to emerge and come to life.
It’s only taken me most of my adult life to realize it and begin to do it. Notice, I said begin. It’s taken me years to start the process. Some people may be able to let go in one opening of their hand. For me, it’s been a nail biting one finger at a time process, and you know what? I still haven’t fully let go yet. But, I’m getting there, and I’ve let some of the dead weight fall away and drift off in the wind.
For my characters in Lovely Digits, Lucy and John are tethered together and then torn apart by a wound they never believed they could let go. Both experienced a heady loss, and it was only by letting go of the past that they were able to imagine another future for themselves that allowed for happiness and love.
So, if you are struggling with a deep wound: some shame, guilt, or disappointment of the past, I challenge you to open your hand and look at it. Is this what you want to continue to carry with you in lieu of other opportunities you may not have even imagined possible for yourself? If not, let go of it, one finger at a time. See how it feels. Then, see what new things begin to bloom in your life, and enjoy that beauty.
You deserve it.
Jeanine Englert is a Golden Heart ® Finalist, Silver Falchion Award Winner, and Daphne du Maurier Award Winner in historical romantic suspense. After years of writing in secret, she joined Romance Writers of America and Georgia Romance Writers in 2013 and has been an active member ever since. She writes Scottish Highland historicals and historical romantic suspense novels.
When she isn’t wrangling with her characters on the page, she can be found trying to convince her husband to watch her latest Masterpiece or BBC show obsession. She loves to talk about books, writing, her beloved pups, and of course mysteries with other readers on Twitter @JeanineWrites, Facebook, or at her website www.jeaninewrites.com.
Her debut novel, Lovely Digits, released in June of 2019 by Soul Mate Publishing, is a Victorian romantic suspense that won the 2020 Silver Falchion Award for Best Mystery and the 2020 Maggie Award for Best Romantic Suspense. It also won the 2017 Daphne du Maurier Award and was named a 2018 Golden Heart ® Finalist for best unpublished romantic suspense.
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